As many of you may already know.....I have been on a SLEW of bad dates in the past two months. I can't decide which is worse: not dating at all or having horrendous dates. What do you think? I'm starting to lean towards the latter. Let me give you a synopsis of the recently horrible.


Fish-Taco-Guy: this was a blind date set up by a friend of a friend (mistake # 1) when he picked me up I immediately knew there weren't going to be any fireworks. I was NOT attracted to him. AT ALL. Now, normally I don't place too much emphasis on looks, because my attraction is very dependant upon their personality/humor etc. So....I'm thinking, "Let's give this a chance...he may be super interesting, or smart, or funny"

Or at least I hope.

Turns out he is NONE of the above. He took me to get frozen yogurt (why do ALL guys think this is a good date?? I DON'T LIKE ICE CREAM!) and we chatted for a while. He thought I was hilarious and spent the entire time laughing at me. Or with me. I can't decide.

Then he took me to Barnes & Noble because he knew I liked to read. Ok, a nice gesture on his part but what are we supposed to do there? Read a book together? I'm confused. I thought it would be funny to peruse all of the little kid books but he was too busy immersed in a business text book. WOW. I'm so entertained I can hardly contain myself. At this point, I was super stoked to be going home.

BUT

He decides he hasn't had enough of me and wants to go to a movie. I don't want to go. But in lieu of being rude I go with him. We get to the movie theatre about 5 minutes before the movie starts, we sit down and he says, "I'm going to go get some water, do you want some water?" Nope I'm good....you go...so I can be rid of you for at least a few minutes.

TWENTY FIVE MINUTES LATER . . .

well into the movie, he shows up. Leans very close to me, about 1 inch away from my face and breathes out, "sorry, I went to grab a taco real quick"

HE LEFT ME IN THE THEATRE, ALONE, TO GRAB A FREAKIN' TACO!

I mean....he left the theatre entirely, and me, to go get a taco at a fast food place. WHAT? Is he THAT starving that he has to have a taco RIGHT NOW? Not to mention breathing his nasty taco-ness in my face. Before he even came to get me, I informed him that I had already eaten dinner. Shouldn't that have been a clue that he should have eaten before the date?

This wacko taco business was the last straw. I WANTED TO GO HOME. At this point, I was leaning AS FAR away from him as humanly possible because I was SO UNattracted to him that I didn't want any part of our bodies to touch. I had a mark on my ribs from the other arm rest because I was leaning so far away. I had my legs crossed, my arms cross, and my hands folded on top of my purse on my lap.

ALL SIGNS POINT TO "DON'T TOUCH ME"

And then.....when I thought it couldn't get ANY worse......he reaches over and puts his hand on mine.

I literally almost vomited on his taco-greased hands. Now, I'm the type of person that ALL of my emotions show on my face. I look over at him.....then pull my hands away. Then, if that wasn't humiliating enough, the people sitting behind us witness all of this and BUST UP laughing. Oh gosh.

I couldn't wait for the movie to be over.

He takes me home (finally) and I come into the house and proceed to scream and have a seizure on the floor because I just couldn't handle the retardedness of it all.

Now..I know you're thinking that this date was NOT a success. But little do you know, it gets WORSE.

In the following 2 weeks after this so-called date he texts me three times and calls me twice. I hate to be rude to people so I ALWAYS respond. But my guy friends have told me (and gave me permission) to not respond if you aren't interested. Apparently guys aren't that smart, that they need to be snubbed to get the drift. So I don't respond to any of his attempts at contact. THEN a couple days ago I get a phone call from an unknown utah phone number. I don't answer. No message. I figured it was the wrong number. But how many times does a UT number ACCIDENTALLY call a MO number? I forget about it...then a couple hours later the number CALLS AGAIN. At this point, I think it might be something important, someone trying to get a hold of me. So I call the number back. And it's the TACO GUY! He sneaky/ninja tricked me into talking to him on the phone by calling from an unknown number. I WAS TICKED

Who does he think he is? I've avoided him for two weeks and he thinks that by calling me from an unknown number I'm magically going to want to talk to him?? Needless to say, I told him how I felt. I haven't heard from him since. I hate having to be rude and blunt just to get the point across.

This was the most recent bad date experience. There are MANY more where that came from. If I get a crazy notion I may just give you the rundown of a few more.