teeny tiny miniscule TWO YEAR hiatus

I need you to imagine something with me. My gorgeous sister-in-law: looks like a wholesome version of a Baywatch babe, walks with the grace of a ballerina, talks with the poise of a queen, mothers like you've never seen mothering before (that sounds somehow derogatory, but I literally mean being a mother), and writes like she's kin to Henry David Thoreau. Well, she gave me a tiny nudge to start my blog again. Every time I read her posts I love her and silently curse her for leading such a perfect life. So perfect, so well written, and pictures of her kidlings that make you drool.....so much so that I didn't want to write about my life.
Make sense?
Yeah, me either.
My life is far less beautiful, I don't have the insight she has or the ability to paint with my words. But we are different her and I, and that's ok. And here we go.
I used to write about completely ridiculous (and hopefully funny) things that normally revolved around dating. And well..... I'm an old married lady now. *gasp* I know. This just happened, so you literally didn't miss much.
But upon her suggestion (the babe I spoke of previously), I thought to myself, "Self, you've been married for just over two weeks....and it's already been pretty dang entertaining."
So....like it or not, that's what my main topic is morphing into. Let the hilarity ensue.
Because I don't want to backtrack into what I've missed on this blog, I'll start here and now. Laying in bed on my laptop with my husband (so.stinking.weird.) next to me studying for his GMAT. No sound, no talking, just the clickety clack of my keyboard and the occasional rustle next to me. This is my life now. Husband, house, dinner-times, and future planning. That may sound dismal to some, but let me tell you...... it's so. dang. fantastic.
Chris gets up earlier than I do for work.... and gets ready in the dark. He tries not to wake me - because I am the lightest sleeper ever - but try as he might I usually end up peeking through my eyelids to watch him tip toe around the room looking for this and that.
He also makes the bed on the weekends because, "this is the only time I can make the bed, since I get up earlier than you. You shouldn't have to make the bed all the time."
This morning he made me an omelet because he had the day off work and brought it to me while I was working in the office.
He did laundry yesterday and I came home to all sorts of things hanging ALL OVER THE HOUSE because, "I had no idea what could be dried and what couldn't."
We finally organized our closet the other day and I all but kicked him out. He's got one tiny corner amidst all my shoes and clothes. Zero complaint from him.
He seems like a dream.
On the other hand there are things he does that are hilarious and drive me absolutely bonkers. I won't speak of those just yet. I want him to remain perfect in my eye (and secretly in yours too).
Maybe my life is beautiful after all.

Look at me….just LOOK at me! I’m ashamed to even set my fingers to the keys on this long lost site. (if you didn’t catch that, it was me slyly admitting that I am a horrible, terrible, no good person who seemingly has zero time to blog)
AND I APOLOGIZE!
To be fair…..I didn’t have much to write about. Well, I suppose in all honesty I never DO have anything to write about. Not even to the second paragraph and I’m apologizing again…well at least my mom taught me to be polite.
So here is what’s new in my life. My riveting, enchanting, seductive, exciting life (I didn’t even use a thesaurus for that)
I’m still working at my lovely job, and enjoying ALMOST every minute of it
Also, ironically, still looking for a job elsewhere. I just can’t get over Utah. And I really do want to settle down, have a place to call home. And I’ll be damned if that place is Utah. If I had to raise a kid here, I’m pretty sure I would ship them off to a military/boarding/seminary school of some sort so that they would have a chance in Hades of turning out semi-normal. (don’t get me wrong, Utahns, there are some good things about this state, but WAY MORE not-so-fantastic things)
My Wisconsin-Boy is also trying to get the heck out of dodge …. Which raises your eyebrow, does it not? Yeah, mine too. He is looking for jobs in Minnesota, Chicago, etc etc etc (he has no idea where he wants to be)
And I am looking for jobs in … umm…..none of those places.
How will that play out, you ask? Well, no idea. I try not to think/talk about it. EVER. Which also seems to be very productive in finding a solution for my current predicament. NOT.
Oh! On a kind-of-sort-of related note: the boy is coming home with me. To MISSOURI. With my whole freakishly huge family. That means he will grace the presence of:
2 parents
4 brothers
1 sister
5 in laws
And THIRTEEN small children (dang, I hope I counted right)

That’s enough to make you mess your pants. Especially because we are loud. And rowdy. And farty.

Not to mention, the fact that I don’t bring home the gents. Never ever.

We’ll see how it goes. Mister nerdy has to fit in with all my hairy, stinky brothers.
But it should be super fun, and I’m excited to fill up on my empty Schmoe-tank.

I think that’s it…yep, that’s it.

This is what I Loathe

I tease, I joke, I kid! I don't really hate Australia. How could I, with it's Snuggles-esque koalas and cute kangaroos. (I really hope you just got my laundry detergent reference or that really won't make sense) Not to mention the insanely hot accents. But really, I'm kind of in a love-hate relationship with this country right now. You see...... it has my handsome arm candy held hostage. Well, hostage in the sense that he willingly jumped on a 17 hour flight to go see amazing sites, get some quality time with his sister, and have the time of his life for two weeks.
Did you hear that? TWO. FREAKING. WEEKS.
That's like a lifetime in my little Schmoe-world.
As soon as I swallowed the fact that I couldn't see him for two weeks (that took HEAPS of water, I tell you, it didn't go down easily) it was even WORSE that I don't get to talk to him. AT ALL. Are you seeing my dilemma here? The cute boy that I talk to everyday, and IM during work, and see after work...blah blah blah, you get the point. Well, I've stuck it out and I get to see him TOMORROW. Can we say "pee my pants?!" Go ahead....say it now. Cause I am. Peeing, that is. I'm so excited!
I also happened to buy a pair of shoes last week....that I had to accessorize with new pants, a shirt, and necklace (do you know me?) all just to pick him up from the airport. It's so girly I could vomit. But hey guys, I'm going to look hot, and I have to jog his memory from being across the ocean for so long. I don't want him to have forgotten how ravishing I look. And on a side note (very very cute side note) he sent me a postcard from Australia that I'm pretty sure had to have been sent on his first day there, to make it to me by now. Oh that kid....I can't get enough of him.

Just look at him! Makes me drool even when he is wearing my girl sunglasses.

A Letter to my Sweet Mama

You know you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, don't you? And it's not just because you have gorgeous almond eyes, and high cheek bones that could rival any Native. It's not because you never leave the house without mascara, or because you always have your platinum blonde hair put in place.
It's because of your willingness to serve, and to see the beauty in the world around you. . I've seen you sink your hands into the earth and help a little seedling on it's first legs of life. I've seen you sweat and work and you are rewarded with beauty. With something that can sustain life. It is the same with the lives that you have guided throughout your years. I've never known anyone to nurture any living thing as much as you. You have 7 children, and 13 grandchildren, and if that isn't enough, you've taken many missionaries of Croatia under your wing, those that you live and serve by within your ward, those that work in the bishop's storehouse, your neighbors, your friends. It truly astounds me the amount of service and love that can exude from one person. You've helped all those people at some point in their life. Held their hand as they cleared the hurdles that they never imagined they could.
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing good just to keep moving. Going through day to day and withstanding whatever is thrown in my path. But you . . . . . you are able to overcome any obstacle, but not only overcome, THRIVE. And you do it graciously, with the delicacies of femininity that stand out from those around you. You use your talents and abilities to every one's benefit. I have so many friends that still, to this day, talk about how wonderful my parents are. How they wish they could have been blessed by such great people. And the only thing I can say is, "I know." Because I do. I know that my parents are amazing. I know that because I can look in their eyes and see love, and knowledge. I can feel of their sweet testimonies as they speak of the Lord. I have learned through their example what being Christlike is truly about. I have seen you both kneel in prayer more times than I can count. I know that you have a strong relationship with your Father in Heaven and it makes you more beautiful. Because I can see you as a daughter of God, created just how he would have you. I can see the love of Christ radiating from you. I thank Him every night for loving me enough to send me to you. To send my tiny Spirit to loving people that he trusted to mold me into something He could be proud of.
We've butted heads throughout my youth, more often than not. And looking back I know it is because we are so alike. We have the same goofy personality, the same appreciation for cleanliness and organization. We both have a knack for creating, and a love for reading. And the older I get, the more I am blessed to look just like you.
I've seen you play dress up, and read books, and plan crafts, and dance with your grandchildren. It makes me so excited to have kids of my own someday, because I know that they will have the best grandma in the whole world.
You've taught me well, Mama. I know right from wrong. I try to love and nurture and serve just like you. I try to uplift others, and even when I'm in a place of uncertainty, I try to imagine what my Mama would do. Because I know that it will lead me in the right direction. It has my whole life. I love you, my sweet mother. I hope that someday I can be as an exemplary woman as you.
Always,
BG

3 Truths

There are three things I’ve come to realize in the past two weeks. Each of them equally as important. The first is that I’ve been craving my home. The grass, the trees, my family, the sounds, the way the breeze smells. Sometimes I just want to be all dusty and gritty from sitting outside, and sweaty from working in the yard. I want to walk into our unlocked front door, and hear my mom baking something in the kitchen, and the sawing and grinding from my Dad wafting in from the windows. I want to be able to look out the window from a sink full of dishes and see our decrepit, falling over, shanty of a shed that I remember distinctly jumping off when I was just a little Jess. I want to shower in the “blue bathroom” with barely enough water pressure to rinse my hair and trace the scratches on our benches that have been the home of all our family dinners. I just want my home. It’s been far too long since I’ve had the chance to enjoy the beloved familiarity.

The second is that I don’t have enough time just for me. I don’t have time to read a book. I used to read whole books in a mere day. And I loved it. Nothing better than smelling the pages, and feeling the binding in my hand. Letting my mind wander to wherever it may take me that day. I don’t remember the last time I read a book. I started a new one last week. I’m still on chapter 3. I love to go to the gym…..and I feel like if I do, I don’t have time to do laundry, or to clean my room, do dishes, or anything of my other house duties without falling into an exhausted heap on the floor. That’s what I get for working 12 hour days. I suppose I shouldn’t complain. I do love my job. I guess I’m still young enough, and single enough to be completely worn out by my career.

And lastly, I have found my cure all for any ailment. From sore throat, to grumpiness, to a bad case of the sleepies. Sunshine. And music. Preferably together. Obviously I’ve always known that I’ve truly enjoyed them, but they really do lift my spirits. No matter what. I wish I could say the cure all was the same for everyone. Alas, I’m fairly certain it’s not. But that’s mine. How blessed I am to have found it.

heart that boy . . .

Well friendlings...my second favorite holiday has come and past. And I'm here to tell you exactly how I feel about it. Because I know you just can't stand not knowing.*I'm about to be super duper girly mushy gross, stop reading now if you can't handle it*
Let the gushing commence:
Let me first start off by saying that my portion of the day was a SUCCESS!! Woo hoo! Virtual pat on the back..... I gave him little love notes throughout the day his house, two at work, two more at his house, all leading to a scavenger hunt at the end of the day, which ALSO led to his gift! I know...I'm the best girlfriend ever....you don't even have to say it.
Anyway...back to talking about the boy. So, I knew I was supposed to see him after work, but I didn't know what was happening. So when my coworkers tried to get me to stay a half an hour later at work than normal I had a little inkling of things to come. When I put my key in the door after work, there he was. In my favorite shirt, holding a bouquet of roses. Sweating his arse off I might add.....if I didn't know any better I would think he was nervous.
Then led me into the dining room that was COVERED in hearts. Heart place mats, heart plates, red napkins folded into hearts. A mushy lovey dovey heart explosion. And lo and behold ....he brought out PF Changs. I love me some Chinese...and bless his soul, he doesn't. Anyway...we had a lovely dinner where I ogled the heart napkins...and played footsy under the table.
Then came the gift. Which was prefaced with, "this is the most romantic gift of all time." I pulled of the wrapping .... and it was a pocket knife. Made me laugh. Out loud. I have needed one for quite sometime. He is getting Schmoe Family brownie points already and he doesn't even know it.
 Sweet, sweet man of mine. I'm completely undeserving.

I'm on a roll, kids

Two posts in one month . . . whatever shall I do with myself? I hope you all are as stoked as I am. And now, the reason for the season {of posting, of course}We shall call this a confession, please fasten your seat belts as I use you to purge my soul {because it's all about me here, folks}:
I have an unhealthy obsession with trail mix, I don't clean my bathtub as often as I should, sometimes I lay down as soon as I get home from work, I let my phone go to voicemail simply because I can't muster the energy to converse, I wish people in public would break into song and dance on a daily basis, I cringe every time I have to go grocery shopping, sometimes I feel too young to be an adult and too old not to have any notable accomplishments, I give myself what-if-hypothetical-situations way too often for healthy living, sometimes I wink at myself when I finish doing my makeup - call it a self esteem boost, I've cut myself shaving more than once due to dancing in the shower, I adjusted my budget last night and I am almost convinced I should be eating at the soup kitchen, I bought a shirt the other day that I don't like simply because it was $8, I secretly have a strong desire to wear skinny jeans, if I see another movie come out about a talking baby golden retriever I'm boycotting the movie theater forever, for a girl with a huge family I feel like an orphan an awful lot, this is the most personal conversation I've had in months.
Feel better? I do.

Guys, I suck

SO BAD. No posts since August?! Sheesh. I can't believe it. There have been some new....developments. Ooohhh...that sounds so official. But don't get excited. Nothing official has happened. I've just been busy with my crazy-stressful, crazy-good job ... and my mister. Not mister as in Mr. - Mrs. but my mister...as in that's the cute name I have for him because I am just the sweetest.
He is the best...and when I say best, I really mean it. Flowers for no reason, cheering me on in Super Mario even though he is 100x better than me at it, taking the ice out of my water because he knows I don't like a lot of ice, giving me the perfect compliments when I'm gussied up in my LBD, letting me sing and dance to my heart's content even if it might embarrass him, and making sure I eat my veggies. I'm telling you guys, you'd love him. I can feel your nods of approval through the screen :)
We've got a few issues, who doesn't, but for now, I'm happy. Happy as a clam, I tell you.

I am 112ish...approximately

I'm at work right now....and I just popped about 6 ibuprofen and I have a self-adhesive heat pad/patch thing on my shoulders.
I can hardly inhale because it smells so strongly of icy hot I'm afraid I'm going to singe the inside of my nose which, by the way, I JUST realized you should never put icy hot and a heating pad together. They do NOT live in harmony.
It's like...suddenly my body figured out that I was well on my way out of a 1/4 of a century (4 days and counting) and it is just reminding me of how LITTLE time I have left to live.
Like sands through the hourglass . . . . . (even that soap reference makes me feel old! ugh)

Utah Bucket List

Technically I don't have a bucket list at all....ok, maybe somewhere in the depths of the back of my brain I've thought about a few things I wanna get done before I kick it eternally . . . but I have decided to come up with one specifically for Utah. Because, let's face it folks, I won't be here forever. And with a foreseeable end in sight, I think it's high time to start getttin' some junk accomplished. Please keep in mind, the things on this list MAY NOT be limited to Utah...but if I want to go to the beach in Cali it's probably something I better get done when I live semi close (Utah) so stay tuned...cause that will be on the list somewhere. Here we go:

• Go to some hole-bar-place in Salt Lake which has about 3 patrons and a karaoke floor about 2 ft sq. (this is a real place, I just don't know the name)
• Go to all the temples in Utah....I think I'm only missing two at this point
• Take some model-esque pictures in front of the Salt Lake City Temple because let's be honest, it's GAH-geous.
• Swim in the Salt Lake
• Go to the Clark Planetarium
• Climb some sort of mountain...I'm not much for hiking, but I feel like it's a must.
• Road trip to: Cali beach, Grand Canyon, and Vegas (at least one more time)

Well...either I'm really tired, or I just don't have much to do in Utah :) Please feel free to add to my list if you feel so inclined.
And just for kicks, here are the ONLY two pictures taken on the 4th of July. Meet my friend Zack.