if only you could've been there . . . .

I went to 7-11 today, which I both loathe and super duper love all at the same time. Loathe because no matter what amount of time you spend in there, whether it's 30 seconds or 5 minutes, you will come out smelling like the most atrocious mixture of cigarettes/coffee/something unidentifiable but definitely nasty. I don't know . . . .maybe it's just me. But it sticks to me, and then I have 7-11 hair the rest of the day. No bueno. But LOVE because it's convenient and they have goodies and big gulps. Can't say no to that.
Anyway, back to the story at hand. I ran to 7-11 today before work to get my work-girlies some drinks (I know, I can't even help how nice I am) and there was a gentleman in line that I stood behind. He motioned me forward to get in front of him (bless his soul, I was in a hurry)  As I was patiently standing there, I can hear him talking really quietly, kind of under his breath. At first I just figured he was on the phone, or talking to someone else, but after a minute I could kind of catch what he was saying and it definitely went a little something like this: (forgive my swearing, but this is a direct quote)
"oooooo, damn guuuuuurrl. Yo' mama did you riiiiiiight. Look at dat ass!" (followed but the quick sucking intake of breath through pursed lips)
At this point, I am caught between laughing and dropping everything I have to shield my bum. I kept looking straight forward until I was done with my purchases and bee-lined it out of there. When I was stepping through the door, I managed a sideways glance at him and I got the up-down-once over.
Although slightly creepy, it made me laugh. Oh such are the antics of my life.