DATING STORY!

Ya'll remember my crazy dating stories?
No?
If you need a refresher, please click the links below. If you fully remember how retarded my dating stories are, please read on :)

Mister 7/11
The One-A-Dayer
Fish-Taco Man
The Shoe Elf (AKA Wind Pants Man)
Man-in-the-Bucket
Frog Man
Random Boy at Bajio
Smelly Old Guy (not actually a dating story, but still funny)

So . . . whilst talking with a friend the other day (about dating, duh) I realized I have YET to blog about one fairly ridiculous story. And so we begin . . . .
Long ago I went camping in Yellowstone (you know, Wyoming?) and so was without cell phone service for about 3 days. When I suddenly came back into service *bling*bling*bling*bling*bling*
I had about 5 voicemails and a billion text messages from one guy. Let's call him Randolph.
I had met Randolph about a week or so prior to my camping experience at a party of a friend. We exchanged numbers, all was well in the world.
I called him on my way home from camping (sleep deprived, without a shower, and smelling dangerously close to actually being on fire)
He wants to go out THAT NIGHT.
Keep in mind, I'm still in Wyoming at this point. And EXHAUSTED. At first I resist, but because he is persistent, I finally give in. Because let's be honest, when a guy wants to see you, it's kind of flattering and extremely hard to say no.
So I get home late, shower as quickly as humanly possible and drive to Compton (not really, but I don't want you to know where he lives)
It is imperative that you know that it is about 35 minutes away.
I already know what you are thinking, "girlfriend, you just drove home from WYOMING, and dude is making you drive to meet him?!?!"
Yeah . . . that didn't really cross my mind at that point. Call me nice. Anyway, he said to meet him at his apt and then would go out from there.
Sweet.
I show up, and he says, "you know what, I think we'll just stay here"
And in my mind . . . Barry White starts to play. Scratch that. Marvin Gaye.
Anyway, he wants to watch a movie. Freakin' sweet, I just rushed home, got ready like a mad woman, and sped THIRTY FIVE MINUTES, to sit on your couch. Ummm . . . NOT. COOL.
So I'm sitting on his couch and he puts in some movie, I honesty don't even remember what movie it was. Dude is as close to me as anyone can be and reaches up.
And.
Takes.
My.
Earring off.
UUUUHHHH . . . .WHAT??
Yep, then reaches around and takes my other one out. What is happening here? Did I unknowingly commit a fashion faux paux?
Then he leans over and tries to kiss me. Smooooooooooth, eh?
I pull away and he says this (verbatim, I can't make this crap up) "You don't want to kiss me?"
*I shake my head in the negative*
"Oh, well, then you should probably leave"
I. SHIZ. YOU. NOT.
So I get up and leave. The real tragedy of this story is that he jacked my earrings. Brings a tear to my eye. Ya'll should know how much I love my earrings.